Mary's Mind...The Minister's Wife
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Guest Writers
Welcoming Guest Writers!
December 2013
As a woman, a former business-owner, mother, daughter, and minister's wife, I've had an opportunity to meet a myriad of people throughout my life. Many of these people have shared their lives, their opinions, valuable information and their expertise on a variety of subjects.
I would like to share their information with you. This site is all about giving a voice and venue to women. So while I may not agree with every writer's view, I do agree with giving them a forum to express their views. Let the guest writing begin!
(Guest writers interested in having their posts appear here must contact me directly - see Contact Me page.)
Black Lives Matter Despite Black Lives Matter
By Aminata Conteur
September 23, 2016
Mention that black lives matter these days and more than likely you will get a rash of reasons why the Black Lives Matter group is wrong. People who might not have ever given civil rights a thought – on both sides – have passionate responses. But despite the bad rap that the Black Lives Matter group (a group formed to work towards a world where Black lives are no longer systematically and intentionally targeted for demise. )gets, black lives DO matter. As a Christian, how can I take this stance? Well, let’s examine what is believed when Black Lives Matter (BLM) is mentioned:
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BLM is not a Christian stance. Since when is saying that any lives matter is not a Christian stance? To God, ALL lives matter. And nowhere in the name, Black Lives Matter does it say or indicate that it is meant that ONLY black lives matter. The name simply states that black lives matter. Period.
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BLM makes people anti-cop. Again, nowhere in what they stand for, nor in their protest of what they believe is merciless and senseless killing of black people, does BLM promote being anti-cop. From what I can see, BLM simply wants the law to be enforced equally.
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The name, BLM, is militant/anti-white. Since when is being FOR something, mean you’re AGAINST something else. So if I’m for women being paid fair wages, does that mean I’m against men being paid fair wages? Or if I’m for Christians being able to pray in school, does that mean I’m against people who don’t choose to pray in school? BLM is more of a plea and reminder that black people are people too, and that their lives matter just as much as anyone else’s.
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White lives matter / All lives matter. This one makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. When someone responds, “All lives matter” or “White lives matter” when hearing BLM, I wonder if they forget that American history proves white lives matter. Native Indian lives have not always mattered, nor blacks for that matter. But in this country, white lives have always mattered. BLM is simply saying that black lives should matter ALSO.
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The recent events (killings) are not about race. You’re right, if you’re white in America, for YOU it’s not about race. But for millions of blacks in America, it is clearly about race. That’s why the group’s name is specifically, Black Lives Matter. Before you say it’s not about race, perhaps research and see if the claims of higher rates of incarceration, higher rates of conviction, higher rates of deaths at the hands of police officers in non-violent cases are true. Because it may make you feel uncomfortable, because it may make you feel uneasy or helpless, doesn’t negate that it’s happening. Problems can only be solved when we first accept there are problems.
Am I saying that everything the Black Lives Matter group has done has been edifying and right? No, how could I; I don’t know everything they’ve done. But what I am saying is to stop focusing on a name and focus on the intention. Black lives DO matter – not to the exclusion of other lives, but as an inclusion in this world God created.
Perceived Lives of Entitlement
By Anonymous
December 22, 2013
Are whites and blacks the same? In a lot of ways – yes. But, culturally, not necessarily.
Of course, before you object, this does not encompass ALL whites and blacks, but merely those this writer has encountered, and includes encounters of this writer’s family, friends and co-workers.
Recently at a child’s function at a daycare, I put the kids in the car, and while buckling my seat belt, a car pulled in next to us. A second later I began backing out of the space. Barely another second later, the passenger in the other car opened his door (inches away from where I was ALREADY backing up) and got out. Out of courtesy, I stopped and waited until he got out and closed his door. Thinking he would step to the front of his car until I finished backing up, I began to back up again. He, however, not only didn’t step out of the way, but walked to the back door, opened it, and began lifting a baby out of a car seat!
I was floored that he would do such a thing while a car was backing up inches away from him. So I stopped, again, and allowed him to retrieve the baby. Once he had baby in hand, he continued to stand (almost in the way) and too close for comfort for me to back up. By now the woman driver joined him in between our cars and they fussed over the baby. Note that there was plenty of room BEHIND their car which was clearly out of the way of my car backing up. But they chose to stand in between our cars, and in my way. Finally, losing my patience, I slowly started to back up again. They nonchalantly glanced over, turned away, and very slowly started moving out of the way.
Remember my initial statement of how whites and blacks are culturally different? Well, this is a perfect example. I’ve never encountered blacks behaving this way. You may say this couple with the baby was clueless. I know different. I’ve experienced it many times before. Many (not all) whites in America live a "perceived life of entitlement". It’s not about money or education or power. It’s about their position in society.
This perceived life of entitlement is engrained in them. As a member of the majority race, they are used to being accepted – regardless of their income, their social status, their education or lack of it. They are used to walking in a store and shopping – period. They wouldn’t believe that non-whites experience being followed in stores more often than not. Those living the perceived life of entitlement don’t know what it’s like to possibly be the “only one” when they walk in the door of pretty much anywhere. They don’t have to think about whether they will be accepted on a job, in a private school or in a relationship. They assume they will be accepted, and then are surprised if they aren’t – surprised because it doesn’t happen very often for them.
This perceived life of entitlement means they don’t have to look when crossing a grocery store parking lot. It doesn’t matter if cars are coming. Of course the cars will stop, but truly, they don’t even seem to notice that there’s a possibility that a car WOULD hit them. At a children’s concert, these who live the perceived life of entitlement think nothing of blocking everyone else because they want to get a picture of their child. They think nothing of blocking a seat next to them to hold their purse, even though black parents are standing due to no available seats. They think nothing of taking credit for your work on the job since they are your supervisor.
Again, not all whites behave this way, and I’m sure some blacks do too. But these examples of entitlement, as well as many others, are usually done by whites. It’s not just about the acts themselves. It’s about the attitude. It’s about the spirit of the acts when they are done. It’s something that probably only a minority would understand, agree that it happens and be able to detect. If you are white, you can choose to disagree. But understand that minorities, by virtue of the obstacles and issues we have to deal with on a regular basis during our lives, are more sensitive to and observant of human behavior in America. So before you deny the perceived lives of entitlement mentality, take a week and observe for yourself. You might find I am correct – at least a little bit.